Alright, settle back into that comfy armchair, maybe crack open a Jolt Cola if you can still find one. Tonight on VHS Heaven, we're rewinding to the very cusp of the new millennium, a time when blockbuster budgets were ballooning faster than the Y2K panic, and studios were throwing everything and the kitchen sink (possibly a steampunk, steam-powered kitchen sink) at the screen. I’m talking about the brassy, baffling, and weirdly watchable spectacle that is Barry Sonnenfeld’s Wild Wild West (1999).
Remember the buzz around this one? It felt huge. Coming off the colossal success of Men in Black (1997), pairing superstar Will Smith (then arguably the biggest movie star on the planet) with the versatile Kevin Kline seemed like a license to print money. Add in Kenneth Branagh chewing the scenery as a legless, megalomaniacal villain and a reported budget soaring to a then-staggering $170 million (that's over $300 million today!), and expectations were through the roof. Pulling this tape off the shelf at Blockbuster felt like you were holding the summer's main event.
### Steampunk Dreams and Blockbuster Schemes
Setting itself in a fantastical, gadget-filled version of the post-Civil War American West, the film re-imagines the classic 60s TV series as a high-octane action-comedy. Smith plays James West, the charismatic, trigger-happy government agent, while Kline steps into the eccentric boots of Artemus Gordon, the master of disguise and inventive gadgetry. Their mission: stop the diabolical Dr. Arliss Loveless (Branagh) from assassinating President Grant using... well, using increasingly ludicrous and oversized mechanical contraptions.
Sonnenfeld, who also gave us the distinct visual flair of The Addams Family (1991), brings his signature wide-angle lenses and quirky aesthetic, but here it feels amplified to eleven, sometimes bordering on cartoonish. The production design is undeniably ambitious, a steampunk explosion of brass, gears, and velvet. Gordon's train, "The Wanderer," is a rolling headquarters brimming with delightful gizmos – hidden compartments, projectile billiard balls, and that memorable hydraulic pool table. You have to admire the sheer effort poured into creating this world, even if it sometimes feels more like a theme park ride than a cohesive setting. A fun piece of trivia: George Clooney was originally slated to play Artemus Gordon before scheduling conflicts led to Kline stepping in. Imagine that pairing!
### Big Stars, Big Explosions, Big... Spider?
Let's talk action. While not relying solely on the gritty practical effects of earlier decades, Wild Wild West certainly features its share of tangible mayhem alongside its burgeoning (and now somewhat dated) CGI. There are shootouts, fistfights, and chases, often punctuated by Smith's trademark quips. Remember that sequence with the magnetic collars? Classic oddball danger. The film tries hard to blend practical stunt work with digital enhancements, a hallmark of late-90s action trying to push the envelope. Some of it lands better than others; the wirework feels energetic, but some of the CG explosions lack that visceral punch we remember from, say, Die Hard's Nakatomi Plaza inferno.
But the real talking point, the image seared into the memory of anyone who saw this film (or even just the trailers), is Dr. Loveless's ultimate weapon: the giant, 80-foot mechanical tarantula. It’s completely ridiculous, over-the-top, and dominates the film's climax. Here’s a retro fun fact that sounds like pure Hollywood legend, but is reportedly true: the idea for the giant mechanical spider was famously championed by producer Jon Peters, who had previously tried to shoehorn it into a Superman script being developed by Kevin Smith. When Superman didn't bite, the spider crawled its way over to the Wild Wild West. You can't make this stuff up! While impressive as a piece of late-90s CGI ambition, its sheer scale and absurdity perhaps encapsulate the film's biggest problem: a struggle for consistent tone.
### Charm vs. Chaos
Will Smith brings his undeniable charisma, essentially playing Agent J from Men in Black but in cowboy boots. He's effortlessly cool, but the script (credited to a whole team: Jim Thomas, John Thomas, S. S. Wilson, Brent Maddock, Jeffrey Price, and Peter S. Seaman – often a sign of development woes) doesn't always give him the sharpest material to work with. Kevin Kline is clearly having fun with Gordon's disguises and fussy intellectualism, though the chemistry between the leads sometimes feels forced rather than organic. Kenneth Branagh, however, commits fully to the mustache-twirling villainy, delivering lines like "Mr. West, how nice of you to join us... NOT!" with scenery-devouring glee. And let's not forget Salma Hayek as Rita Escobar, who, despite being underserved by the plot, adds considerable presence.
The film bombed with critics (winning multiple Razzie Awards including Worst Picture) and while it made money ($222 million worldwide), it was considered a financial disappointment given its colossal budget and marketing push – which included Will Smith’s inescapable, chart-topping tie-in theme song. Remember how you couldn't escape that track in the summer of '99? It was everywhere.
### Final Reel
Wild Wild West is a fascinating time capsule. It’s a monument to late-90s blockbuster excess, a film brimming with visual ideas, star power, and a budget that could probably fund a small nation, yet it never quite gels into a truly satisfying whole. The humor is often juvenile, the plot nonsensical, and the blend of genres feels jarring.
And yet... there’s a certain goofy charm to its ambition. It’s big, loud, and unapologetically silly. Watching it today feels like revisiting a peculiar dream – one filled with steam-powered wheelchairs, magnetic death traps, and yes, a giant mechanical spider stomping across the desert. It’s not high art, not by a long shot, but it’s a unique artifact of its time.
VHS Heaven Rating: 5/10
Justification: The score reflects the film's undeniable production value, star wattage, and ambitious (if flawed) steampunk aesthetic, weighed against its messy script, tonal inconsistencies, sometimes cringe-worthy humor, and status as a critical punching bag. It's a visually interesting, high-budget curiosity, but ultimately a misfire.
Final Thought: It tried so hard to be the biggest, wildest ride of the summer, ultimately becoming a prime example of how sometimes, even with all the money and stars in the world, you can't quite capture that old-fashioned movie magic... especially when a giant CGI spider is involved. Still, worth a nostalgic chuckle? Absolutely.