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King Size

1988
6 min read
By VHS Heaven Team

Okay, rewind your minds with me for a moment. Picture this: you're browsing the "Fantasy" or maybe even the "World Cinema" section (if your local store was fancy) of the video rental palace, the air thick with the scent of popcorn and plastic tape cases. Your eyes land on a cover that looks... different. Not Hollywood. Maybe slightly bizarre, hinting at something imaginative and maybe a little bit bonkers. That, my friends, is the feeling of unearthing a gem like Juliusz Machulski's 1988 Polish wonder, King Size. Forget your standard elves and dragons; this is fantasy filtered through a distinctly Eastern European lens, brimming with wit, satire, and some truly ingenious practical effects that feel wonderfully tangible in our digital age.

### Down the Rabbit Hole, Into the Drawer

King Size plunges us into Szuflandia – literally "Drawerland" – a hidden subterranean society populated by diminutive "krasnoludki" (think gnomes or dwarves, but distinctly Polish). This isn't some idyllic fairytale kingdom, though. Szuflandia is a drab, oppressive bureaucracy run by the secret police chief Kilkujadek (Jerzy Stuhr, a titan of Polish cinema you might recognise from Kieslowski's Three Colors trilogy). The ultimate status symbol, the ultimate escape, is achieving "King Size" – drinking a potion that grants permanent human size and access to the forbidden, oversized world above. Our hero, Olo (Jacek Chmielnik, radiating a likable, everyman charm), stumbles upon the secret formula, setting off a madcap chase that blends spy thriller tropes with absurdist comedy and adventure.

### Honey, I Shrunk the… Budget? No, Just Pure Ingenuity!

Let's talk about what makes King Size a feast for retro-loving eyes: the effects. In an era before CGI rendered anything possible (and often, weightless), creating Szuflandia was a masterclass in practical magic. Machulski, already a household name in Poland after hits like the sci-fi satire Seksmisja (1984), leans heavily into oversized props and brilliantly constructed sets. Imagine giant matchboxes serving as beds, colossal rotary phones dominating rooms, and everyday objects becoming monumental obstacles. The sense of scale feels real because, well, much of it was. You can almost feel the texture of that giant desk blotter or the intimidating heft of a human-sized coffee cup from the krasnoludki perspective.

It’s this handcrafted quality that gives the film its enduring charm. There's a weight and presence to the miniature world that pixels struggle to replicate. Remember how mind-blowing forced perspective and clever compositing felt back then? King Size is packed with it. Apparently, creating these elaborate sets on what was likely a modest Polish state film budget required incredible resourcefulness from the production design team. It’s a testament to creativity thriving under constraint, a common thread in much of the fantastic cinema emerging from behind the Iron Curtain during this period.

### Rogues, Bureaucrats, and a Dash of Glamour

The performances perfectly match the film's quirky energy. Jacek Chmielnik is our anchor, the hopeful dissident dreaming of a bigger life (literally). But it's Jerzy Stuhr who steals scenes as the puffed-up, paranoid, yet strangely pathetic villain Kilkujadek. He embodies the petty tyranny of the Szuflandia regime with relish. And then there's Katarzyna Figura as Ala, a human fashion model who gets entangled in Olo's escape. Figura was a major star and sex symbol in Poland, and her character adds a touch of glamour and romance to the proceedings, navigating the absurdity with bewildered grace. Her presence also cleverly underscores the "King Size" desire – the allure of the bigger, freer world outside the confines of Szuflandia.

### More Than Just Gnomes and Gags

While King Size is undoubtedly a fun, visually inventive fantasy romp, it resonated deeply in Poland for its not-so-subtle satire. Released just before the fall of communism, Szuflandia, with its oppressive surveillance state, drab conformity, limited resources (like the rationed soda water needed for the potion), and desperate yearning for the "West" (the human world), served as a clear allegory for life under the Polish People's Republic. It was a way to laugh at the absurdity of the system, a comedic release valve that audiences embraced wholeheartedly. This layer adds a fascinating depth, making it more than just a technical marvel. It was reportedly a massive box office success in Poland, cementing its status as a beloved cult classic that tapped directly into the zeitgeist of the era.

### The Verdict on Drawerland

Watching King Size today feels like rediscovering a secret level in the video game of 80s cinema. Its visual inventiveness, born from practical necessity, is a joy to behold. The blend of fantasy, adventure, comedy, and sharp political satire is unique and surprisingly effective. Sure, some elements might feel dated, the pacing might occasionally reflect its era, but the core creativity and charm are undeniable. It’s a reminder of a time when filmmakers used sheer ingenuity and physical craft to build fantastical worlds that felt utterly convincing on our fuzzy CRT screens.

Rating: 8/10 - This score reflects the film's sheer inventiveness, brilliant practical effects that hold up remarkably well, witty performances (especially Stuhr's), and clever satirical underpinnings. It loses a couple of points for pacing that sometimes lags slightly by modern standards and humour that might occasionally feel specific to its time and place, but its overall charm and technical ambition for its context are undeniable.

Final Thought: King Size is a delightful, oversized dose of 80s imagination – a cleverly crafted escape that proves you didn't need pixels to dream big, just maybe a giant telephone and a drawer full of ambition. A must-see for anyone who appreciates the tactile magic of pre-digital fantasy.