Okay, rewind your minds with me. Picture this: It's the late 90s, the video store shelves are groaning under the weight of hopeful romantic comedies promising meet-cutes and happily-ever-afters. Then you stumble across this unassuming tape – Love Stinks. The cover hints at something... different. Maybe a little meaner. And who directed and wrote this cynical take on relationships? None other than Jeff Franklin, the guy who gave us the warm-and-fuzzy hugs of Full House. The sheer cognitive dissonance was enough to make you grab that VHS, pop it in late one night, and discover one of the most gleefully nasty anti-rom-coms of the era.
### Sugar Turns Sour, Real Fast
Love Stinks doesn't waste time with pleasantries. We meet Seth Winnick (French Stewart, shedding some of his 3rd Rock from the Sun alien awkwardness for a more grounded, but still deeply flawed, sitcom writer) and Chelsea Turner (Bridgette Wilson, radiating sunshine and seeming perfection). They meet, sparks fly, montage happens – you know the drill. But Franklin isn't setting up a fairytale; he's laying a trap. Seth is a commitment-phobe, enjoying the single life, while Chelsea, beneath the bombshell exterior, has a terrifyingly specific life plan that involves marriage, kids, and a house in the suburbs, yesterday. When Seth balks at the M-word after years together, Chelsea doesn't just get mad. She gets even. And then some.
### The Art of Relationship Warfare
What follows isn't just a breakup; it's mutually assured destruction played for dark laughs. This is where the movie kicks into high gear, transforming from a relationship comedy into a suburban battlefield. Forget gentle misunderstandings; we're talking restraining orders used as weapons, career sabotage, public humiliation, and property destruction that escalates to almost cartoonish levels of vengeance. Remember Chelsea's meticulously planned wedding turning into... well, let's just say an event? It's moments like these where the film dives headfirst into its acidic premise. It’s shocking, uncomfortable, and undeniably funny in a way few mainstream comedies dared to be back then. It felt like a necessary splash of cold water after years of saccharine rom-coms.
It's worth noting that this film's venomous tone was precisely why studios initially shied away from it. Jeff Franklin reportedly believed in the script so much that he ended up financing a significant portion of the roughly $3.5 million budget himself. It was a gamble that didn't quite pay off at the box office (grossing only about $3 million domestically), making its later life on VHS and cable feel even more like discovering a slightly dangerous, overlooked secret.
### Committed Performances
While the situations are extreme, the performances ground the madness just enough. French Stewart plays Seth not as a hero, but as a relatable (if often selfish) guy caught in a nightmare of his own making. His reactions, oscillating between panic and disbelief, fuel much of the comedy. But let's be honest, the movie belongs to Bridgette Wilson. Fresh off playing more straightforward roles in films like Billy Madison (1995) and Mortal Kombat (1995), she absolutely devours the role of Chelsea. She leans into the character's manipulative, vindictive nature with terrifying glee, creating a villainess for the ages who is somehow both monstrous and perversely captivating. Supporting players like the ever-smooth Bill Bellamy as Seth's friend Larry and a memorable turn by Tyra Banks add to the distinctly late-90s flavor.
### A Time Capsule of Cynicism
Watching Love Stinks now is like opening a time capsule from 1999. The fashion, the attitudes towards dating, the sheer meanness – it feels very specific to that pre-millennium moment, a kind of Gen X backlash against boomer optimism, maybe? The practical nature of the escalating pranks and destruction feels refreshingly tangible compared to today's often CGI-smoothed conflicts. There’s a certain raw energy to the way Chelsea dismantles Seth’s life piece by piece, a low-budget scrappiness that adds to its charm. It wasn’t trying to be slick; it was trying to land punches, and it mostly succeeded. Was it subtle? Absolutely not. Was it sophisticated? Hardly. But was it a cathartic, darkly funny ride you found yourself quoting lines from after that late-night viewing? You bet.
***
Rating: 7/10
Justification: Love Stinks earns its stripes not as a great romantic comedy, but as a daringly anti-romantic one. Its strength lies in its unapologetic commitment to its cynical premise, Bridgette Wilson's standout performance as a nightmare ex-girlfriend, and its status as a cult favorite born from studio rejection and creator passion. It's uneven and certainly won't be for everyone (its mean streak is intense), but for those who appreciate dark humor and a break from sugary sweetness, it delivers memorable, cringe-worthy laughs. It perfectly captured a specific late-90s vibe of relationship disillusionment.
Final Take: A hilariously toxic treasure from the tail-end of the VHS era; handle with caution, but definitely worth digging up if you like your comedy black, not sweet.