Ah, Mega Mountain. Just the name evokes images of slightly rickety roller coasters, overpriced snacks, and maybe, just maybe, ninjas foiling a terrorist plot led by Loni Anderson. If that last part sounds a bit peculiar, then welcome to the strange, late-90s anomaly that is 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. By 1998, the kid-ninja craze sparked by the surprisingly charming original 3 Ninjas (1992) was definitely running on fumes. Yet, here came a fourth installment, swapping out the original young actors and inexplicably throwing wrestling icon Hulk Hogan and the legendary Jim Varney into the mix. It’s the kind of movie that probably sat hopefully on the 'New Releases' shelf at Blockbuster for a week before migrating permanently to the 'Family Adventure' section, waiting for an unsuspecting parent or a kid desperate for any martial arts fix.
End of an Era, Beginning of... This?
Let's be honest, the magic was wearing thin by this point. The original Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum (Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade, Chad Power) were long gone, replaced here by Mathew Botuchis, Michael O'Laskey II, and J.P. Roeske II respectively. While these kids try their best, they lack the easy chemistry and distinct personalities that made the first film (and to a lesser extent, its immediate sequels) click. The plot itself feels like a rejected Die Hard spec script hastily rewritten for the Power Rangers crowd: the three brothers, along with their whiz-kid neighbor Amanda (Chelsey Earlywine), are enjoying a day at the titular amusement park, hoping to catch a glimpse of their TV action hero idol, Dave Dragon (Hulk Hogan). Wouldn't you know it, the park gets taken hostage by the nefarious Medusa (Loni Anderson, chewing scenery with gusto) and her band of comically inept thugs, led by the perpetually flustered Lothar Zogg (Jim Varney). Cue the undersized heroes using their martial arts skills and theme park attractions to save the day.
Director Sean McNamara, who also co-wrote the screenplay and has built a career largely on youth-focused entertainment (like Soul Surfer (2011) and various Disney Channel projects), tries to inject some energy, but the formula feels undeniably tired. The action sequences are more playground scuffle than thrilling ninja combat, relying heavily on slapstick and gadgets that feel less inspired than those in earlier entries. Filmed primarily at Elitch Gardens Theme Park in Denver, Colorado, the setting offers some potential, but it often feels underutilized, reduced to generic backdrops for lackluster chases and confrontations.
Hulkamania Runs Mild
The real curiosity here, of course, is the casting. Hulk Hogan, then deep into his transition from wrestling megastar to actor, plays Dave Dragon, an action TV star who gets caught up in the real-life hostage situation. Hogan essentially plays... well, Hulk Hogan. He delivers his lines with familiar gusto ("Hang tough, little dudes!"), flexes occasionally, and mostly serves as a friendly giant for the kids to interact with. It’s not exactly stretching his dramatic range, but his presence undeniably adds a layer of surreal 90s pop culture fascination to the proceedings. Seeing the Hulkster navigate a 3 Ninjas sequel is a time capsule moment in itself.
Then there's Loni Anderson as the villainous Medusa. Best known for her iconic role as Jennifer Marlowe on WKRP in Cincinnati (1978-1982), Anderson seems to be having a degree of fun vamping it up as the mastermind, though the character is written with cartoonish simplicity. Her motivations are paper-thin (money, vague revenge against the park owner), and her plan relies heavily on her henchmen being utterly incompetent.
A Poignant Farewell
Perhaps the most notable performance, albeit for bittersweet reasons, comes from Jim Varney as Lothar Zogg, Medusa's perpetually stressed-out second-in-command. Varney, forever beloved as Ernest P. Worrell, brings his signature physicality and nervous energy to the role. Even in this fairly thankless part, glimpses of his comedic brilliance shine through. Sadly, High Noon at Mega Mountain marked Varney's final theatrical film appearance before his untimely passing from lung cancer in 2000. Knowing this lends his scenes a certain poignancy; it’s a final glimpse of a unique comedic talent, even if the vehicle itself is sputtering.
Retro Fun Facts
This movie wasn't just the end of the road for the original 3 Ninjas franchise; it was a spectacular box office flop. Reportedly made on a modest budget (likely under $10 million, though exact figures are scarce), it grossed a mere $375,801 worldwide during its limited theatrical run. Adjusted for inflation, that's still peanuts today. It quickly found its true home on VHS and cable, becoming one of those titles you vaguely remember seeing listed in the TV Guide or spotting on the rental store shelves. Its critical reception was, unsurprisingly, brutal – it currently holds a dismal 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on critic reviews from the time. It’s a stark contrast to the original film, which, while not high art, certainly connected with its target audience far more effectively.
The Verdict from the VHS Vault
Watching 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain today is an exercise in managing expectations. It lacks the charm, wit, and genuinely fun action of the 1992 original. The plot is flimsy, the new ninjas are forgettable, and the whole affair feels cobbled together. However... there's an undeniable charm to its sheer late-90s-ness. The presence of Hogan and Varney, the theme park setting, the earnest (if clumsy) attempt to keep a dying franchise alive – it all coalesces into a specific kind of nostalgic curiosity. It’s the movie you rented when Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995) was checked out. It’s harmless, goofy, and offers a fascinating, if unintentional, snapshot of where family action films and certain celebrity careers were headed as the millennium approached. It’s not good by conventional metrics, but for a certain kind of retro movie fan, it holds a strange, B-movie appeal.
Rating: 3/10
The score reflects the film's significant shortcomings in plot, action, and recapturing the original's spirit. However, the rating avoids rock bottom due to the sheer oddity of the casting (Hogan, Anderson, Varney), its unintended nostalgic value as a late-90s artifact, and the bittersweet final appearance of Jim Varney. It earns a few points purely as a curio.
So, should you track down this tape (or, more likely, stream)? Only if you're a 3 Ninjas completist, a die-hard Hulkamaniac, or possess a deep affection for the weirder corners of 90s family entertainment. Just remember to buckle up – the ride at Mega Mountain is definitely a bumpy one.