Okay, fellow tape travelers, let's rewind to a time when sequels didn't always mean bigger budgets or grander scope, but sometimes… well, sometimes they meant sending your loincloth-clad, animal-communing hero tumbling through a dimensional rift into early 90s Los Angeles. That’s right, we’re plugging Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991) into the VCR today, a film that took the earnest sword-and-sorcery grit of the 1982 original and decided what it really needed was traffic jams, valley girls, and a stolen neutron bomb. It’s a jarring shift, like swapping your worn fantasy paperback for a brightly colored Trapper Keeper, but honestly? There’s a certain bizarre charm to its madness.
### From Arak to LAX
Forget the sweeping vistas and shadowy temples for a moment. Our adventure begins when the nefarious Arklon (the brother Dar apparently forgot he had in the first movie) and the deliciously evil sorceress Lyranna, played by the ever-commanding Sarah Douglas (who could forget her chilling performance as Ursa in Superman II?), discover a portal to another world. Their goal? Not conquering their own fantasy realm, but snagging some modern-day WMD – specifically, a neutron bomb being transported through LA. Naturally, Dar, our stoic hero once again embodied by Marc Singer, must pursue them, bringing his hawk Sharak, tiger Ruh (looking a bit fluffier this time around), and his two scene-stealing ferrets, Kodo and Podo, along for the ride.
The setup alone is pure early 90s cheese, leaning heavily into the "fish out of water" trope that was popular currency back then. Seeing Dar navigate freeways, marvel at televisions, and generally look bewildered by modern life provides the bulk of the film’s intentional (and unintentional) humor. It’s a far cry from the darker, almost primal tone Don Coscarelli established in the first Beastmaster, a film noted for its atmospheric visuals and surprisingly mature themes despite its pulp origins.
### Campfire Tales from the Concrete Jungle
Let's be frank: Beastmaster 2 operates on a different frequency. Directed by Sylvio Tabet, who produced the original film, and co-written by Tabet alongside R.J. Robertson and, significantly, B-movie whirlwind Jim Wynorski (whose touch is definitely felt in the film’s pacing and humor), this sequel embraces its lower budget and ramps up the absurdity. The reported $6 million budget, modest even for 1991 and less than the original's nearly a decade earlier, meant relying more on situational comedy and action set pieces achievable on LA streets rather than elaborate fantasy world-building. Some exterior shots were apparently filmed back in Glen Canyon, Utah, echoing the original's locations, but the heart of this film beats to a distinctly Californian rhythm.
Marc Singer, looking as fit as ever, does his best with the material. You get the sense he might have preferred a more direct continuation of Dar's saga, and reportedly he had reservations about the comedic direction but fulfilled his contractual obligations like a true professional. He maintains Dar’s inherent nobility, even when faced with bewildering things like car alarms or answering machines. Opposite him is Kari Wuhrer as Jackie Trent, a sassy rich girl who becomes Dar’s reluctant guide to the modern world. Wuhrer, in one of her earlier prominent roles before becoming an MTV VJ and a 90s genre staple, brings energy and serves as the audience surrogate, reacting to Dar’s strangeness and the escalating chaos. And Sarah Douglas? She seems to be having an absolute blast, chewing scenery with the same delightful menace she brought to Kryptonian villainy.
### Retro Fun Facts: Portal Problems and Production Quirks
Digging through the archives reveals a few gems about this oddball sequel. The shift towards comedy wasn't necessarily the plan from day one; the script apparently evolved into its lighter form during development, possibly influenced by Wynorski's involvement or a desire to chase a different demographic than the original R-rated fantasy. Filming animals in bustling Los Angeles presented its own unique challenges – wrangling a tiger near traffic is no small feat, requiring careful planning and likely contributing to some of the film’s more contained action sequences. While the practical effects are… well, of their time, there's a certain nostalgic charm to seeing actual ferrets scamper through vents rather than a CGI creation. Remember when practical effects, even slightly dodgy ones, felt more tangible on our flickering CRT screens? This movie is practically a time capsule of that era's B-movie aesthetic.
It's also worth noting that the film’s reception was lukewarm at best, both critically and commercially. It didn't capture the same cult following as the original initially, often viewed as a perplexing left turn for the franchise. Yet, like so many curiosities lining the shelves of "VHS Heaven," time has perhaps softened its edges. What seemed like a misfire can now feel like a goofy, harmless slice of 90s cinema trying to blend genres with more enthusiasm than finesse. We all rented movies like this, didn't we? The ones where the cover promised epic fantasy but delivered… something else entirely, yet we watched anyway, perhaps with a bewildered grin.
### The Verdict: A Portal Best Left Open... For Laughs?
Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time is undeniably silly. It abandons the tone of its predecessor for action-comedy shenanigans, complete with dated fashion, questionable dialogue, and plot holes you could drive a stolen military truck through. It lacks the mythic quality and visual artistry of the original.
However… is it fun? In a very specific, requires-adjusted-expectations, maybe-enjoyed-best-with-friends kind of way, yes. It leans into its premise with gusto, Marc Singer remains a likable hero, Kari Wuhrer provides spunky energy, and Sarah Douglas elevates the villainy. The sheer weirdness of seeing Dar interact with 90s LA provides genuine chuckles, intentional or not. It's the kind of movie you'd find buried in the back of the video store, rent on a whim, and talk about with your buddies the next day, mostly focusing on the sheer "Did that really happen?" absurdity of it all.
Rating: 4/10
This score reflects a film that falls far short of its predecessor and is objectively riddled with flaws, cheesy effects, and a nonsensical plot. However, the 4 points acknowledge the sheer nostalgic oddity, the unintentional comedy gold, Sarah Douglas's delightful villainy, and the peculiar charm that comes from its earnest attempt to blend fantasy with 90s LA culture. It's a definite "watch for the weirdness" recommendation, not for its quality, but for its unique place in the annals of bizarre sequels.
So, while Dar might have been better off staying in Arak, his brief, baffling vacation to Los Angeles remains a curious footnote in 90s fantasy cinema – a portal best revisited for a dose of pure, unadulterated VHS-era silliness.