Alright, let's dim the lights, maybe crack open a Jolt Cola if you can still find one, and slide this well-worn tape into the VCR. The tracking might be a little fuzzy, but trust me, the sheer, unadulterated weirdness of Ninja III: The Domination (1984) shines through brighter than any neon leg warmer. This isn't just a movie; it's a glorious, logic-defying time capsule delivered straight from the gonzo dream factory known as Cannon Films. Forget your standard action tropes for a second, because this flick decided to throw ninjas, aerobics, demonic possession, and a synth-heavy score into a blender and hit 'pulverize'.
### Possession by Polyester
The opening sets the tone immediately: a brutal, protracted sequence where an evil ninja single-handedly wipes out a security detail and several police officers on a golf course (yes, a golf course!) before being gunned down himself. But death is merely an inconvenience! His malevolent spirit promptly possesses Christie (Lucinda Dickey), an unassuming telephone linewoman by day and spandex-clad aerobics instructor by night, who just happened to be nearby. Suddenly, Christie finds herself compelled to seek revenge on the cops who killed her spectral tenant, all while trying to maintain her relationship with a bewildered police officer, Billy (Jordan Bennett). It sounds insane, and frankly, it absolutely is. Lucinda Dickey, fresh off breaking barriers (and moves) in Breakin' (1984) and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (also 1984, also Sam Firstenberg!), brings an earnest physicality to the role, making both the high-impact aerobics and the increasingly violent ninja outbursts weirdly convincing within the film's B-movie reality.
### Enter the Kosugi
Of course, you can't have a Cannon ninja film without the legendary Sho Kosugi. Here, he plays Yamada, a one-eyed ninja master who arrives from Japan sensing the evil presence and seeking to destroy it. Kosugi, who was the undisputed face of the 80s ninja craze after headlining Enter the Ninja (1981) and Revenge of the Ninja (1983) – making this the third, albeit unrelated, entry in Cannon's thematic ninja "trilogy" – lends an air of stoic cool amidst the surrounding chaos. His fight scenes, though perhaps less elaborate than in his starring vehicles, have that classic, hard-hitting 80s feel. Remember how real those sword clangs and flying kicks felt back then? That wasn't slick CGI; that was pure choreography and stunt work, often performed by the actors themselves, adding a layer of tangible danger that modern effects sometimes smooth over. Kosugi reportedly performed many of his own stunts, bringing an authenticity that elevated even the most outlandish scenarios.
### The Cannon Charm: Weird Science and Practical Magic
Directed by Sam Firstenberg, a true maestro of the Cannon Group's distinctive brand of high-concept, low-budget mayhem (he gave us American Ninja, after all!), Ninja III fully embraces its own absurdity. The blend of genres is jarring yet captivating. One minute Christie is leading a class through energetic routines bathed in neon light, the next she's stalking victims with supernatural martial arts prowess. There's a certain charm to the practical effects, like the disembodied ninja sword floating menacingly or the infamous scene involving V8 juice and raw eggs (if you know, you know). And let's not forget the possessed arcade game sequence! These moments might look dated now, showing their budgetary seams, but they possess a tactile quality, a sense of filmmakers physically manipulating props and smoke machines to create magic on screen, that's often missing today. It wasn't seamless, but it felt crafted. Apparently, the original script was even wilder, leaning more heavily into horror before being reshaped into the action/possession hybrid we know and love. Golan and Globus, the masterminds behind Cannon, were notorious for chasing trends, and this film feels like them throwing darts at a board labelled "80s Fads" and hitting bullseyes on "Ninjas" and "Aerobics".
### A Cult Classic Forged on VHS
Critically? Well, let's just say Ninja III wasn't exactly showered with accolades upon release. But like so many wonderfully strange films from the era, it found its true home on the flickering screens of CRT TVs, discovered via grainy VHS tapes rented from the corner store. It became a cult classic precisely because of its bizarre premise, its earnest performances, and its unashamed commitment to being utterly unique. I distinctly remember renting this one weekend, drawn in by the promise of ninjas on the cover art, and being completely bewildered yet somehow entertained by the sheer audacity unfolding on screen. It’s a film that embodies the feeling of stumbling upon a hidden gem (or glorious oddity) in the video store aisles. Jordan Bennett as the cop caught in the middle does his best to ground the film, reacting to the escalating supernatural ninja shenanigans with the appropriate level of "what is even happening?" disbelief that mirrors the audience's own journey.
Rating: 7/10
Justification: This isn't high art, folks. The plot is ludicrous, the tone shifts wildly, and some effects haven't aged gracefully. But for sheer 80s audacity, creative genre-mashing, committed performances (especially from Dickey and Kosugi), and the nostalgic thrill of wonderfully weird practical effects, Ninja III: The Domination earns a solid 7. It represents a specific, glorious moment in B-movie history where anything felt possible, especially if it involved ninjas and synth music.
Final Thought: Forget sleek choreography and invisible wires; Ninja III is pure, unadulterated 80s action pulp where the only thing sharper than the katana is the baffling collision of aerobics and assassination – a workout for the soul, best enjoyed with the tracking slightly off.