Alright, fellow tapeheads, dig this one out from the back of the dusty shelf. Remember seeing that familiar face, Don Adams, peering out from a VHS box promising something... explosive? The Nude Bomb (1980) landed on rental store shelves like a slightly miscalibrated gadget from CONTROL headquarters – recognizable, full of potential, but ultimately a bit baffling. It was Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, back on the big screen! But... different.
### Smart, But Not That Smart?
Seeing this again is a jolt, like accidentally answering your shoe in a quiet room. Don Adams slips back into the Maxwell Smart persona with the ease of putting on a comfortable old trench coat. The clipped delivery, the earnest incompetence, the sheer Max-ness of it all is undeniably present. He is Agent 86. The plot itself feels like classic Get Smart: the evil organisation KAOS (led this time by the wonderfully camp Vittorio Gassman as Sauvage, alongside veteran screen siren Rhonda Fleming) threatens global chaos. Their weapon? A bomb that dissolves fabric, leaving everyone... well, you get the title. It's up to Max to stop them, globe-trotting from Washington D.C. to vaguely European locales.
The problem, and it's a big one, isn't necessarily Adams. It's that the film tries desperately to drag Smart into the 1980s, shedding some of the core elements that made the original Get Smart TV series (co-created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, remember!) such a perfect spoof. This big-screen outing, helmed by Clive Donner (who had experience with spy spoofs like What's New Pussycat?), feels like it’s chasing the slightly racier, broader comedy trends of the era, evident right from that cheeky, misleading title. Interestingly, the film was originally titled The Return of Maxwell Smart, which might have set expectations more accurately.
### Where Did Everybody Go?
The most glaring omission, the elephant not in the room, is Agent 99. Barbara Feldon's absence is keenly felt. Her chemistry with Adams was the heart of the show, the perfect blend of competence and affection grounding Max's absurdity. Here, Max is paired with Agent 34, played by Sylvia Kristel, famous for the Emmanuelle series – a casting choice likely meant to lean into the film's suggestive title and hoped-for 80s edge. While Kristel tries her best, the spark just isn't the same. We also miss the familiar faces of the Chief (Edward Platt had sadly passed away years earlier) and Larrabee. Instead, we get characters like Agent 22 (played by Dana Elcar, later of MacGyver fame) who fill roles but don't quite capture that old CONTROL magic. Apparently, Feldon wasn't thrilled with the script, and you can kind of see why. It just doesn't feel quite right.
### Gadgets, Gaffes, and That 80s Sheen
Sure, there are gadgets – exploding cigars, a car equipped with improbable defenses – but they often feel less clever and more like standard movie props. The humour, penned by original series writer Leonard Stern, lands sporadically. Some classic Smart-isms shine through (Adams' timing remains impeccable), but other gags feel broader, cruder, aiming for laughs that the TV show achieved with sharper wit. There's an extended sequence involving Universal Studios Tour trams that feels more like product placement than inspired spy parody. Remember how elegantly the original show spoofed Bond? This feels more like it's chasing The Pink Panther sequels, but without the same level of physical comedy genius.
The "action," such as it is, is typical of late 70s/early 80s comedy fare – some car chases, some running around, a few kerfuffles. No gritty practical effects showcase here; the focus is squarely on the gags. It looked fine on a fuzzy CRT back in the day, but watching it now highlights the somewhat pedestrian direction and the attempt to inject a slightly slicker, but ultimately blander, feel than the charmingly low-fi original series.
### The Verdict on This CONTROL Mission
The Nude Bomb wasn't exactly a critical darling or a box office smash back in 1980. It felt like a missed opportunity then, and time hasn't necessarily been kind. It exists in that strange twilight zone between beloved source material and underwhelming adaptation. You watch it mostly for Don Adams, appreciating his commitment to the character that defined his career. There's a certain nostalgic curiosity in seeing this attempt to update a 60s icon for a new decade, even if the execution falls short. My well-worn (imaginary) tape of this would definitely show signs of being watched maybe once or twice out of sheer Get Smart loyalty, then put aside.
Rating: 3/10
Justification: While Don Adams fully embodies Maxwell Smart and offers fleeting moments of classic Get Smart charm, the film suffers significantly from the absence of key cast members (especially Agent 99), clunky attempts to modernize the humour for the 80s, and a generally uninspired script. It’s a fascinating curio for fans and lovers of 80s oddities, but lacks the sharp wit and heart of the original series.
Final Thought: A cinematic mission that sadly... missed it by that much, leaving behind a peculiar VHS artifact more notable for what it lacked than what it delivered. Would you believe... disappointment?