Alright, fellow tape travellers, settle into your favourite worn armchair. Remember that feeling? Scanning the 'Adventure' aisle at the video store, maybe grabbing a film purely based on the promise of treasure maps, exotic locales, and maybe a damsel in distress? Well, strap in, because we're rewinding to 1985 and popping in Cannon Films' glorious, slightly chaotic attempt to capture lightning in a bottle: King Solomon's Mines. If Raiders of the Lost Ark was the five-star dining experience of adventure cinema, this was the gloriously greasy, satisfyingly cheesy burger joint down the street – maybe not haute cuisine, but undeniably fun in its own right.
### Indy Who? Meet Allan Quatermain (Again)
Let's be honest, the shadow of Indiana Jones looms large over this one. Released just four years after Raiders, King Solomon's Mines wears its influences proudly on its khaki sleeve. Produced by the legendary low-to-mid-budget maestros Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus of Cannon Films, this wasn't just an adaptation of H. Rider Haggard's classic 1885 novel; it was a full-blown 80s action-adventure makeover, designed to ride the wave of fedora-topped archaeology. Tasked with bringing this vision to life was veteran director J. Lee Thompson, a man who knew his way around action, having helmed classics like The Guns of Navarone decades earlier, before settling into a comfortable groove directing hits like Death Wish 4: The Crackdown for Cannon.
Stepping into the boots of legendary adventurer Allan Quatermain is Richard Chamberlain. Fresh off massive TV success with The Thorn Birds and Shogun, Chamberlain brings a certain matinee idol charm to the role. He's perhaps less ruggedly cynical than Harrison Ford's Indy, more of a slightly exasperated gentleman adventurer thrown into increasingly absurd situations. It's a performance that perfectly matches the film's lighter, often slapstick tone.
### A Star is Born (and Chased by Cannibals)
Pairing up with Chamberlain is a young, energetic Sharon Stone as Jesse Huston, the resourceful daughter hiring Quatermain to find her kidnapped archaeologist father. This was a significant early role for Stone, years before Basic Instinct catapulted her to superstardom, and you can absolutely see flashes of that future screen presence here. She dives headfirst into the pulpy adventure, screaming gamely whether facing German soldiers, treacherous terrain, or, yes, the infamous giant cooking pot sequence. The chemistry between Chamberlain and Stone is more screwball comedy than smouldering romance, leaning into bickering banter that fuels much of the film's humour. And who could forget Herbert Lom as the villainous Colonel Bockner, complete with exaggerated German accent, chewing scenery with delightful gusto? Plus, adding a direct link to its inspiration, we get John Rhys-Davies (Sallah himself!) as the menacing Dogati.
### Cannon-Grade Chaos and Charm
What truly defines King Solomon's Mines is its unabashed embrace of B-movie energy. Filmed largely on location in Zimbabwe, the production feels both expansive in its use of real landscapes and slightly ramshackle in its execution. You can almost feel the African heat and dust coming through the screen. Cannon wasn't known for subtlety, and this film throws everything at the wall: train chases, crocodiles, tribal warriors, spiders (or are they crabs?), collapsing mines, and that aforementioned sequence involving our heroes nearly becoming soup – a moment so delightfully over-the-top it's practically become the film's signature.
The practical effects and stunt work have that distinct 80s flavour – sometimes genuinely impressive, other times endearingly obvious. Remember watching that giant rock narrowly miss Quatermain and thinking, "Wow!" even if part of your brain registered the lightweight material? That's the magic of the era! The humour veers wildly from genuinely witty lines (courtesy of writers Gene Quintano and James R. Silke, the former also known for penning Police Academy sequels) to pure slapstick that wouldn't feel out of place in a cartoon. It doesn’t always land, but its commitment is admirable.
### Retro Fun Facts
Here’s a nugget for you: Cannon Films was so confident (or perhaps frugal) that they shot the sequel, Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold, back-to-back with this film, using the same core cast and crew. Talk about efficiency! While the budget was a respectable (for Cannon) $12.5 million, the film only grossed about $15 million domestically. It wasn't a blockbuster smash, but likely found its audience, like so many Cannon classics, on home video – those trusty VHS tapes we all remember renting. Despite the film's often goofy tone, the score was provided by none other than the legendary Jerry Goldsmith (Alien, Planet of the Apes, Poltergeist). While perhaps not his most iconic work, Goldsmith's adventurous themes lend a touch of class and excitement that elevates the proceedings considerably. Critics at the time were often unkind, dismissing it as a cheap Raiders knock-off (it currently sits at 5.2 on IMDb and a 38% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes), but time has been kinder, allowing audiences to appreciate its specific brand of campy fun.
### Still Worth Digging Up?
King Solomon's Mines is undeniably a product of its time. It’s silly, derivative, and occasionally clumsy. But watching it again now, possibly on a format far clearer than the worn-out VHS tape I first saw it on, there's an undeniable charm. It's energetic, good-natured, and doesn't take itself too seriously. Chamberlain and Stone make for an entertaining pair, and the sheer pace of the adventure rarely lets up. It might not be the Ark of the Covenant, but it’s a fun, nostalgic treasure in its own right.
VHS Heaven Rating: 6/10
The score reflects its status as a fun, if flawed, adventure romp. It shamelessly copies its betters, and the humour can be hit-or-miss, but the energy, the locations, the surprisingly decent Goldsmith score, and the early glimpse of Sharon Stone's star power make it a worthwhile expedition for any 80s adventure fan. It doesn't quite reach the legendary status of its namesake mines, but it’s a dig that definitely yields some cheesy, nostalgic gold.